


In this lifetime

by tejiisan234



Series: our fragile reality [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Timeline, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Always Female Tony Stark, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Female Tony Stark, Iron Man 1, Male Pepper Potts, Parallel Universe, mentions of torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:54:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21599854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tejiisan234/pseuds/tejiisan234
Summary: When news of Toni’s capture reaches Steve, he just found Bucky.
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: our fragile reality [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1556701
Comments: 36
Kudos: 307





	1. Chapter 1

"Toni?!"

"Young Miss Stark?!"

"Antonia! Where are you?!"

"Toni, where-" Howard Stark came to an abrupt stop as he reached the bottom of the basement stairs and spotted the little figure sitting at his workbench fiddling with something. He sighs his relief, shoulders dropping from their tensed hunch before he made his way over to his daughter.

"You're in trouble, little girl," he called out and had to stop himself from laughing when said little girl jumped in shock.

Wide, doe eyes that reminded him so much of Maria locked onto him before there was an excited squeal. "Daddy! You're back!"

"Careful!" He warned as Toni slid down from the bench, rucking the skirt of her flowery dress in the process. Howard winced at the sound of tearing cloth. Ana will not be happy. But his little girl didn't seem to notice as she dashed towards him, arms akimbo. He stopped in his steps to bend down and scoop her up into his arms with a small grunt. He wasn't getting younger and Toni was getting bigger by the day. "Have you been down here all morning?"

"Yup!" Toni replied proudly with a huge grin, showing off the small gap between her front teeth and completely unaware of the panic that has arrested the Stark household since her "disappearance."

Howard chuckled, shifting her weight unto one arm before bopping her nose with a finger. "You gave Jarvis and Ana quite the scare, you know, running off like that without telling them where you're going."

The five-year-old in his arms only looked mildly guilty and very much sheepish. "Sorry."

Howard ruffles Toni's wild, brown curls with a fond smile before looking at his work table. "What were you doing down here anyway?"

Toni wiggles a bit in his arms which he understood as her silent request to be put down which Howard complies to. Once back on her feet, Toni reaches for his hand and tugs him towards the table. "I was making something for you!"

"Oh, really?" Howard chuckled again and helped Toni back up on the bench when she struggled to haul herself up onto it, before perching himself next to her and dutifully looked at the small gears and screws she points out to him and– "Is that...Toni, did you take apart the watch Obie gave to me last Christmas?"

Howard didn't need to look to know his daughter was pouting. 

"I was gonna put it back together afterwards," Toni reached for a small steel circle the size of the watch's face with odd pieces soldered unto it and held it up to him, "but I can't figure out how to make more space to fit this."

"What is it?" Howard carefully takes the disk and squints as he held it under the desk lamp Toni had on.

"It's supposed to light up the numbers and clock hands," she explained, already reassembling the watch. The small screw drivers were just the right fit for Toni's hands.

Howard flips the disk over then asked, "How were you planning on powering it?"

"Solar."

"Huh."

"Yeah."

In the silence that followed, Howard kept his eyes on Toni's work as she finished up with the watch, arm perched behind her to act as a backrest and to keep her close. They've known for two years now that Toni was smart, a genius even, though it's not official yet, but Howard doesn't think it needs to be official. He knows Toni is smarter than him, and that's all the confirmation he needs.

"All done!" Toni declared triumphantly, holding the watch out to him.

Smiling, Howard took it and dropped a kiss on her forehead. "Thank you, sweetheart."

Toni smiled back up at him.

"Alrighty!" Howard stood up, slipping the watch into his pocket before hauling Toni into his arms with a drawn out groan and made his way to the stairs. "How about we go and tell Jarvis and Ana that you're all right and put them out of their panic, yeah?"

"Okie dokie!"

Ana was near tears as she gave Toni an earful about disappearing and Toni was properly chastised, wrapping her bony arms around Ana's neck fiercely when the woman swooped her into a hug, promising to let Ana and Jarvis know the next time she wanted to go somewhere.

Jarvis simply heated some milk and brought out a tupperware of chocolate chip cookies. He patted Toni on the head as the girl sat at the kitchen counter munching away at a cookie - a Jarvis recipe.

Howard was perched on a barstool next to her, eating his own cookie with a mug of coffee and a pile of unopen mail that he doubted he'd be able to make a dent in even if he had all afternoon to look through it. 

"How long are you staying, daddy?"

The question, though delivered innocently and with nothing but child-appropriate curiosity, stabbed at Howard's heart. Jarvis and Ana already gave him enough scathing glares everytime he left for another expedition to last him a lifetime. Still, he tried to smile at Toni as he answered, "I don't know, pumpkin."

"Are you staying for Christmas?"

Howard grits his teeth. "Can't give a definite answer on that, Toni."

The landline rang just as Toni opened her mouth to ask yet another question, and Howard thanked whatever diety was out there for the interruption. He loves his daughter, truly, but sometimes, it's just hard talking to her, because even after five years, Maria's ghost still hovered over Toni with her beautiful smile and doe eyes.

"It's Mister Stane, Sir," Jarvis announced, holding the phone out to him.

"I'll take it in my office." Howard got to his feet and dropped another kiss to Toni's forehead and says, "Want to come back down to the 'shop later and see if we can make a solar watch from scratch?"

Toni beams up at him. "Yes, please!"

Much later, after talking with Obadiah and going through papers for Stark Industries while trying to work out a rough timeline for his next expedition, Howard whisks Toni away from the Jarvises, an idea blooming in the back of his head.

They were in the middle of figuring out how to fit a solar panel in the watch without risking its aesthetic when Howard brings it up to her.

"Hey, Toni, how would you like to go with me on my next Captain America hunt?"

Toni's little head snapped up so quickly, Howard felt a phantom twinge in his neck. Big brown eyes sparkled with hope. "Really?"

"Yeah," Howard smiles then reached out to her head in an attempt to flatten the stray curls that had decided to defy gravity there. He had no such luck, of course. "We can spend Christmas on the boat, maybe visit Italy afterwards. _Nonne_ and _nonni_ misses you."

The next thing Howard knew, short arms were clinging around his neck in an almost suffocating hug. "Thank you, daddy!"

Howard chuckled, a bit strained, but wraps his own arms around Toni's little frame, feeling as if he was finally doing something right for the first time since his daughter was born.


	2. Chapter 2

Howard’s calling him.

The ringing of his personal cellphone was loud in the cabin of the stealth SHIELD jet even through the hum of its engine. It makes Bucky jump.

Bucky.

_God_. Has it really been seventeen years since he first caught wind that the Winter Soldier was one James Buchanan Barnes? And now..._now_, finally, they got him back. A little worse for wear, sure (if you count decades of brain washing, torture, and mind control, worse for wear), but he’s out of Hydra’s grasp, back with Steve, with _family_, and he can heal.

Natasha gives him a pointed look as she passes by him when his phone rings again, a towel in her hands and making her way over to where Bucky was hunched over on a bench.

He got the message, but he really did not want to talk to Howard right now. Not after years of no-contact. Even when they pass by each other in SHIELD hallways, not one word is exchanged between them. Right now, riding the high of finding Bucky, yet exhausted to the core, Steve didn’t feel like getting into another screaming match with Howard, since the last one they had resulted in slammed doors and Steve leaving the Stark mansion in the dust of his motorbike.

Then his phone rang again.

With a heavy sigh, Steve reached into the third pouch of his utility belt, and pulls out his SHIELD issued Stark phone, lets it ring one more time before answering.

“Howard,” he greets curtly. Better let it be known that this was an unwanted call.

“Oh, get off your high horse for a minute Rogers, and listen.” Howard’s words were as sharp as ever, but there was a tremor in them that stopped Steve from tearing the man a new one. A sound that he’s only ever heard when Howard talked about the dearly departed Maria. “Someone took Toni.”

Steve’s world froze. No. This wasn’t like being in the ice. This was like being in molasses. He could see Nat slowly, so slowly, rise from her crouch in front of Bucky, no doubt seeing the way he had suddenly gone still.

The clouds in Bucky’s eyes bled out as his gaze goes to Steve, clear and intent as he picks up on Steve’s mood, like he always used to do when they were still kids and blissfully unaware of their future.

“Who?” he asks when everything came rushing back (sounds, smells, _feelings_). It cuts Howard off from whatever else he was saying.

“We don’t know.”

Steve clenches his free hand and very carefully keeps his hold on the phone firm. “Where then?”

“Afghanistan.”

“Christ, Howard,” Steve hissed. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“That Toni knows what’s she’s doing. She’s a grown ass woman, Steve, who’s been in this business for almost two decades now.” Howard exhales harshly on his end. “This isn’t anything new. She’s been to Afghanistan before.”

“So what’s changed?” Steve grits out, clinging to the roiling rage in his blood, because he doesn’t want to address what’s twisting his insides into literal knots.

“Her convoy was fucking blown up into pieces, that’s what’s changed!”

Steve exhales sharply at the images his brain conjures and feels sympathy for Howard when he hears the man’s sob. Steve may have questioned Howard’s morals, accused him of being a warmongering bastard, but if there was one thing he knew for sure about the other man was this: Toni was his lifeline. He loves her fiercely, and was almost unbearably protective of his only daughter. Of course this would be the straw that’ll break Howard Stark’s back.

His legs suddenly feel like jelly so he turns and drops himself into the co-pilot seat. Clint gives him cursory glance, but goes back to watching the jet’s controls. “What do you know?”

Howard takes a shaky breath before saying, “They we’re attacked by Stark weapons.”

Steve tamps down on the urge to rail on the man; to say, _I told you!_ He pinches his nose bridge instead and listened as Howard goes on.

“The second convoy lost contact with them ten minutes after they left the testing site, and when they caught up, everything was still burning, but Toni was gone. I already told SHIELD, and the Air Force is also on it, but Steve...I need your help. I need you to be out there looking for her as well.” Another sob. “Please.”

Steve tells himself to breathe. Pause. Reassess the situation. Remove his personal ties from the situation. His next exhale is steady and short. The nerves in his fingertips stopped tingling. The strength came back to his legs. 

“Okay,” he tells Howard as he pushes himself back to his feet. “Where am I heading?”

“New York, you know the address.”

“Right.” Steve nods to Nat and she approached him. “I’ll call when I’m five minutes out.”

“Thank you, Steve.”

Steve ends the call.

“What’s up, Cap?” Nat arches a red brow at him. The tight worry lines that had been around her eyes when they got Bucky onboard had disappeared. She was the Black Widow once more. “That was Stark?”

“Toni’s been kidnapped.”

Natasha blinks, recalibrating. Then she nods. “What do you need?”

Steve shifts his gaze towards Bucky, meeting his old friend’s eyes. Nat followed suit, then touches Steve’s elbow, her grip firm through the kevlar. “I got him, Cap. Leave him and the rest of Hydra to us, and focus on Stark junior.”

Steve gives her a small smile, not feeling like he could do more than that. “Thanks, Nat.”

Hours, minutes, seconds go by, before the jet’s ramp lowers right at the gate of the Stark’s Manhattan mansion. “Tell Fury I want a full report on the situation ASAP,” Steve tells Natasha as she walks with him. Bucky stands as they come near him, and Steve stops. He sighs and hopes his smile was at least a little bit encouraging. “I’m sorry, Buck. But I really need to do this.”

Bucky nods. “I know you do. Take care...punk.”

Steve could cry, but he doesn’t. “You, too, jerk.”

Nat hugs him and Clint throws him a salute which Steve returns. Then he’s off and watching as the jet lifts off and disappears into the night sky. When he turns around to the gate, it was already opening and the familiar stature of one Edwin Jarvis was standing at the front doors. Steve jogs up the drive and greets the butler with a handshake, taking note of the weary slump in the man’s shoulders.

“It’s good to see you again, Mr. Rogers,” Edwin says. 

“You, too, Edwin.” Steve allows himself to be ushered through the doors. “How is everything?”

“About as bad as you can expect,” the older man sighs, just as the sounds of heels in marble reaches Steve’s ears. 

He looks up just in time to see Peggy turn the corner, so visibly frazzled in a way he’s never seen before. Even when they found out that Hydra was still alive and right under their noses, Peggy was cool and controlled. Right now, however, she was anything but put together. Oh, she was still as beautiful as the day he met her, but the worried purse of her lips and misty eyes said it all.

She gives him a tight hug, and Steve breathes in her familiar scent of roses and peppermint. “What do we know, Pegs?” he asks as they pull away.

Peggy slips her arm with Steve’s and explains as they walk, Edwin falling into step on his other side, “Not as much as I want to. We’re still cleaning up Hydra’s mess from last year, so our resources are still limited. Connections we once had in those areas are gone, and a lot of our agents are still hidden.”

“Tell me you got something,” Steve pleads.

They stop outside a heavy, mahogany door Steve hasn’t seen in ages, and Peggy curves her red lips up at him, “We’re not completely blind. She was taken by a group called Ten Rings. We have plenty of reason to think they’re affiliated with Hydra.”

Steve frowns and opens his mouth to speak when the door was opened and Howard stood on the other side, leaning heavily on his walking cane and looking as if death warmed over. However, there was still a spark in his dim eyes. “It’s very convenient timing, if you ask me,” the man says gruffly as he leads them into his office. Obviously, his hearing aids were working just fine.

Steve settles Peggy on one of the leather loveseats before helping Edwin with a food cart parked in the corner of the room, handing Peggy a cup of tea and some biscuits while Edwin sorted Howard out.

“So Ten Rings,” Steve continues as he lowered himself in one of the seats angled across from Howard’s desk, a cup of coffee in one hand. “What intel do we have on them?”

“They’re not just one group,” Peggy says. “They’re multinational, giving them reach and influence. But they’re all the same in that they’re terrorists. Somehow, one group of Ten Rings got their hands on Stark weapons and decided to take Toni. So far, we haven’t received any demands or any form of contact, really. Right now, we’re flying blind.”

“I’m looking into where they could’ve acquired their weapons,” Howard tells them, and Steve has to set his mug down or else he’d crush it. “I have Toni’s assistant and AI looking into it.”

Steve paused, memories of watching over Toni’s slender shoulder as she typed and drowned in coffee coming into the forefront of his mind before he shut them down and says, “Right. And the search party?”

“A joint force between Army and Air Force lead by Colonel James Rhodes.” Peggy daintily wipes at her mouth with a table napkin. “He’s a close friend of Toni, dare I say best friend, even. He was in the second convoy.”

Howard shifts forward in his seat and types something into his laptop. “You’ll meet with him tomorrow as soon as you touch down in Afghanistan. I have a plane ready for you as soon as you’re ready to go.”

Steve checks the time, drains his coffee in one go and sends Howard a form nod as he stands up. “I’m ready.”

“Good.” Howard stands as well and hobbles around his desk. “You’ll have access to anything you might need that SI can provide on the plane over. If you need more resources, just let us know and we’ll fake care of it.” He stops before Steve and holds out a hand and Steve takes it after a second. “Bring her home, Steve. Bring my daughter home.”

_Under any means necessary_, was left unspoken.

He said his good-byes to Peggy and Edwin, and Howard walks him to the garage in silence. Steve suspects that the older man wants to say something, so he keeps quiet, but when they arrive at the vast expanse of the underground Stark garage, Howard still hasn’t said anything.

It wasn’t until Steve chose a random key from the motorcycle options hanging on the wall that Howard finally spoke. “After you get Toni back,” he says, “let’s talk.”

Steve blinks then huffs a laugh through his nose. “We’ve never really been good at talking, Stark.”

“Well, maybe that should change,” Howard replies, shifting so his walking stick was perched in front of him, perfectly in the middle as he gripped it with both hands. If it weren’t for the obvious air of despair around the other man, Steve would’ve thought he was staring at the Howard Stark the media loved to praise and hate in equal measures.

Steve tips his head to the side, not exactly conceding, but not disagreeing either. He can’t make up his mind about this right now, not yet. Howard understands, because despite their estrangement, they were friends first, and Steve owes the man his life. So, Steve doesn’t reply, Howard doesn’t stay to watch him go as he speeds out of the garage and into the dawn.

* * *

Toni woke up with a gasp after flashes of agonizing pain, bloody hands, foreign shouting and ringing in her ears.

Her breathes came out in harsh, short exhales that she could see in the cold air. A shiver runs through her body as she stares up at a dark ceiling of dirt. There was an orange glow off to her left and a weak flickering of artificial light off to her right. Someone’s whistling, there’s an annoying trickle at the back of her parched throat. Gingerly, she reaches up to her face and chokes when her fingers catch on a tube traveling up one of her nostrils. Suddenly panicked, she pulls on it, gagging and gasping but not stopping until the whole damn thing came out. Who knows what the hell they’ve been feeding her.

The whistling continues.

She turns her head towards the sound and finds a man standing with his back towards her and guiding a straight edge razor down the side his neck. His whistling does not falter. Her throat screams for relief when her gaze catches into a small metal cup sitting on the edge of a wooden table next to where she lay.

With jerky movements, she reaches out, jostles the table and caused the cup to topple over. She looks to the man again, gauges his non reaction to the racket, before she reaches further towards the jug next to where the cup had been and comes to an abrupt halt when a sharp pain tugged at her chest. 

“I wouldn’t do that, if I were you,” the man finally says, voice thick with an accent.

She looks down and sees her chest wrapped in gauze and two wires trailing out between the layers. She follows its length over her shoulder towards another table where it connects to a car battery.

The panic returns tenfold as Toni claws at the gauze, ripping it apart until she was staring at the mangled mess that had become of her chest and a crude, silver device that sat right in the middle of it all.

“What the hell did you do to me?” she rasps minutes later, sitting up in her cot in a cold cave after she examined the damage done with the mirror the man handed her.

He stirred something in a pot above the fire he had going. He looks up at her with a raised brow, almost mocking and very passive. “What did _I_ do?” He chuckles and continues to stir the pot. “What I did was save your life. I removed all the shrapnel I could, but there’s a lot of it left, and it’s headed into your atrial septum.”

He moves away to reach for something and continues, “Here, want to see?” He holds a small, glass bottle up and shakes it’s contents. “I have a souvenir. Take a look.”

Toni catches the bottle out of the air when he tosses it to her. She holds it up to the light and observes the small shards as the man explain, “I’ve seen many wounds like that in my village. We call them the walking dead, because it takes about a weak for the barbs to reach the vital organs.”

“What is this?” Toni doesn’t have to elaborate what she was asking about. 

“That is an electromagnet, hooked up to a car battery, and it’s keeping the shrapnel from entering your heart.” The man smiles at her but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

Toni takes the information in as she zips her borrowed jacket up to her neck and spots the camera up in one corner pointed right at them and very much working if the red dot was anything to go by. 

The man follows her gaze then smiles again and says as he goes back to his cooking, “That’s right. Smile.”

Toni doesn’t.

“I saw you once, you know,” the man continues, “at Bern. You were giving a speech about integrated circuits–”

“Where are we?” Toni asked after her eyes roam around the crude room they were being held captive in.

Just then, an eye-hole in the metal doors slid open and a man shouts from the other side in a language Toni couldn’t understand. Her fellow (presumably) captive dropped his ladle and rushes over to Toni and harshly says, “Come on. Stand up. Stand up! Just do as I do.”

The door clanks open and Toni eyes her companion warily as he quietly urges her to raise her arms as he was doing. She follows, apprehension making her stomach twist and turn as a group of heavily armed men spill into the room. Their weapons are frighteningly familiar.

“Those are my guns,” she tells the man next to her, barely keeping the bile from coming up her throat, “how did they get my guns?”

“Do you understand me? Do as I do!”

The lead man in the group steps forward, and holds out his arms in a travesty of a warm welcome. He speaks, jovial tones filling the silence, and when he finishes, he gestured to the man next to her who hesitates and translates, “He said, _Welcome, Antonia Stark, the most famous mass murderer in the history of America.”_

Another sentence, and another translation; “He is honored.” 

The man continues to translate for the other who waves his arms around like some kind of showman. “He wants you to build a missile...the Jericho missile that you demonstrated.” 

There was a picture, as if Toni needed to see to know what they meant. Still, she looked and her translator says, “This one.” 

Toni breathes, realizes she couldn’t take a full breath, stares at the black and white picture of the weapon she built meant to save the lives of American troops, not take them, and thinks back on the soldiers who had already died trying to keep her alive, pictures a world where her weapons were in the wrong hands..._They already are._

She looks at her captor straight in the eyes. “I refuse.” 


	3. Chapter 3

They torture her.

It was logical, Toni thinks later as she stares into the fire back in her “cell” while her fellow prisoner taunts her with words of encouragement as she tries to breath, and wraps the scratchy blanket tighter around her shoulders.

She can still feel the water in her lungs, but she could also think clearly.

It reminds her of the time she and her family went to vacation at one of their lake houses. They brought Steve who had just been defrosted for two months, hoping it will help sooth the man just a little. Toni remembers being very fascinated by him (still is), and as a ten-year-old she felt maybe she could do something for him. So, she begged and begged her dad and the Jarvises for a picnic/swim party. They agreed and within a few hours, they had a table set out near the lake dock with finger foods to tide their hunger while Edwin manned the grill with Steve. Toni could hardly contain herself as Ana helped her tie up her watermelon-themed swim suit and almost jumped into the lake if she hadn’t remembered her plan all along.

She retraced her steps and went up to Steve who looked only a little bewildered that the small Stark was choosing to talk to him. He recovered quickly, bending down so they could see eye-to-eye as she asked him if he’s like to swim with her.

As a ten-year-old, Toni didn’t understand the way Steve’s face twitched while his eyes went distant and he quietly thanked her for the offer but declined.

As an adult in her late thirties with a best friend who’s been in the military for the whole of his adult life, Toni understands that it was trauma. The memory of crashing the plane into the ice and ultimately freezing...it was too fresh in his mind.

So it didn’t really stick with her younger self how much courage it took for Steve to dive in after her thirty minutes later when she got a foot cramp so intense it had her flailing around in panic as lake water went up her nose, filled her lungs, made her choke (caused her to think clearly of circuits, lines of codes, wheels, a claw, maybe a couple of claws that could tug her out of dangerous situations–) before she was lifted above the water and she can breathe again.

Ana cried, Edwin fretted and Dad clung to her until they all packed up and called it a day.

Steve saved her then despite his trauma with big bodies of water, and she’s looked up to him ever since.

Even after he and Howard had their fight and he stormed out of the mansion (out of her life, tearing her heart in two and bringing all the pieces with him) like the hounds of hell were nipping at his heels.

This time though, there’s no Steve to save her. This time, she’ll have to use her head and save herself.

* * *

They find her three months later.

At that point, Steve was ready to snap. It was hard keeping his cool, and he could tell Rhodey was in the same boat as him. Howard wasn’t faring better. He looked more and more like he was on death’s door step with each video call Steve made to report another day of dead ends. 

It was pure desperation that put Steve on the helicopter that day while Rhodey hopped into another one. They had three birds in total, and Steve resisted the urge to tear into his crew when he saw the doubts on their faces.

He knew what they were thinking and he knew what was being said around base. Toni Stark is dead, they’re just looking for a body now.

Then the explosion happened. It was big and pinged clearly on radar. Rhodey was on radio in an instant and Steve agreed to check it out before the words were even out of the other man’s mouth.

They flew low, because even though life signs would show up on their computers, Steve and Rhodey wanted to see a visual with their own eyes. And what a visual sight Toni Stark made.

Pants that were too baggy on her legs was pinched up around her waist, a dirty tank top clings to her top like a second skin, and a jacket was wrapped around her head and hung down to her chest in a makeshift covering as her hair whipped around in the wind.

She saw them and waved before stumbling to her knees, holding out a peace sign as they came around to land. Rhodey was already rushing towards her even before the helo finished landing. Steve wasn’t too far behind him, though he hung back as Rhodey wrapped his arms around Toni, fierce but mindful of her injuries which Steve took inventory of.

There were bruises scattered across her face and bare arms, her lips were chapped with dried blood, but the worse of it was on her shoulders where the sun had burned blisters into her skin.

“Next time, you ride with me, alright baby girl?” Rhodey says as he pulls back. 

Toni smiles, exhaustion clear in the action but still gorgeous as ever. Then her gaze flickers towards Steve. “Is that...” she points at him, smile going confused, “...Steve?”

Steve takes that as his cue to step forward while Rhodey moved aside and waves at the medical crew to hurry up. Steve kneels in front of Toni and takes her hands into his, peering into the abyss that is Toni Stark’s doe eyes. “It’s me, Bambi.”

Her reaction was immediate and as Steve predicted. Her nose scrunches up in distaste. “I’m on the wrong side of thirty, Steve. I think you can drop that nickname now.”

Steve grins. “Never.”

And that was the last thing Steve says to her as the medical crew bundled Toni up and whisked her into Rhodey’s helo. Steve waves them off from the ground before turning to his crew. Their newfound enthusiasm that stemmed from finding Toni was palpable and Steve intends to use it. “Alright,” he claps to draw their attention. “Let’s go check out that explosion sight. That’s no doubt where Stark was held hostage, so I want to see the place for myself.”

The sight that greeted them was pure carnage, and the fires that raged were so strong it was impossible to land or even get a closer look that Steve has no choice but to call it off and head back to base, all the while wondering just what Toni did to have left such destruction behind.

When they landed, the base was a flurry of activity and Steve immediately pushed his way through the throng to get to the medical building where he comes to an abrupt halt. He expected it to be as busy as it was outside but instead of the rush to provide Toni Stark with the best medical care they can offer, doctors and nurses alike stood around, nervous and confused. They all turned towards him in perfect sync when he burst through the doors.

“What’s going on?” he asks the room, frowning.

A doctor near him answers, “Miss Stark refused any help from us, Captain.”

“What?” Steve feels bad for snapping when the woman jumped a bit.

But then she straightens up, tugging at her white coat. “She insisted she was fine and needed only the assistance of Colonel Rhodes.”

Now Steve understands the confusion. “Which room is she in?”

A nurse points down a hall. “Last door on your left, Captain.”

Without another word, Steve strides purposefully across the linoleum floors, gearing up for a speech because while she might be fine, Steve would rest easier knowing a professional had taken a look at her and give her a clean bill of health. He knows Howard would appreciate it, too. He reaches the door in no time, and nods at the two soldiers guarding it, backs ramrod straight. He goes to open the door when an arm blocks his action. Steve turns to the soldier.

He’s a private, and he swallows when Steve narrows his gaze. “What’s the meaning of this?”

The kid shuffles in his boots then says, “Captain, Colonel Rhodes told us no one is allowed in.”

Now Steve’s really confused. Rhodey is the second most protective person of Toni, Steve wouldn’t be surprised if Rhodey pulled all of the best doctors on base just to check on her. There’s something fishy going on and Steve wasn’t about to let it go.

However, before he could say another word, the door opens a sliver and and Rhodey pokes his head out, affectively blocking the view into the room. He looks at Steve then the private and says, “It’s fine, the Captain can come in.”

Then he slips back into the room, leaving the door open a crack. Steve got the message. He nods to the two soldiers and they salute as he follows Rhodey’s lead and immediately shuts the door after himself as soon as he steps into the sterile smelling room. He turns around to face Toni, mouth open to deliver his speech, and stops dead in his tracks. 

There are only a handful of things that can make Steve Rogers speechless, and he can count them all on one hand with fingers left to spare. A glowing blue orb in the middle of Toni’s chest is something he can add to that count, it would seem. She’s sitting on the bed, eyes gaunt, cheeks ruddy from sunburn, legs, all scratched and bruised, dangling on the side and dressed in a backwards hospital gown that affectively left her sternum exposed; a very scarred and infected sternum. Maybe under normal circumstances Steve would’ve been embarrassed to see the edges of Toni’s breast, but he was so fixed on the mangled mess of her chest that he couldn’t really find a rats ass to give.

He steps forward, hand out to reach (Toni, her shoulders, anything to assure him that she’s breathing– alive–), stops and swallows the sudden knot in his throat. “What did they do to you?” the horror was clear in his voice and he couldn’t look away.

Toni looks down to her chest and huffs, a wry smile twisting at her lips. Steve doesn’t think there’s anything funny. “They saved me, actually. They needed me alive so they made do with what they had to make sure the shrapnel stays away from my heart.”

Steve forced breath into his lungs and casts a look towards Rhodey. The other man looked exactly how Steve felt: murderous. “Shrapnel?”

“Turns out, the only thing that can blast through a Stark vest, is Stark made material.” Toni shrugs as if everything is fine and dandy despite the shadows behind her gaze telling him otherwise. This is not the same Toni anymore. And really, how could he expect her to be?

Still, it’ll be a lie if he says that this Toni, sitting before him with her shoulder slumped and a thousand yard stare, does not unsettle him. It’s selfish, he knows, but he really wants the loud, vibrant woman he watched grow up back.

“How do we remove it?” he asks a few seconds of silence later. His voice is rough with emotion and he clears his throat. 

“Remove it?” Toni’s brows twitched up as a laugh, broken and dark, leaves her lips. A travesty of her actual laugh. Steve hates it. She reaches up to tug at the hospital gown’s neck and her eyes are wild when she stares at him, then through him. “There’s no removing this, Steve. The moment you take this out, I die! Sure, maybe not immediately, but definitely before the doctor’s can get to the shrapnel. It’ll be a slow, torturous death, and I’ve had enough torture for the past three months so I think I’ll pass on _removing_ this.”

Toni’s shoulders quake as tears spill over and down her cheek. Steve’s not sure she even realizes she’s crying. Rhodey is by her side in an instant, though he doesn’t touch her right away. Instead, he murmurs Toni’s name and terms of endearment, kneeling in front of her before slowly taking one of her hands into his. Steve feels like he’s back to being ninety-seven pounds and watching helplessly as his Ma wilts before his eyes, as Bucky leaves for the Army, as he tries just one more time to enlist– he finally moves, projecting his movements and keeps his footsteps light.

Rhodey shuffles a bit to make space for him, but doesn’t let go of Toni’s hands. Instead, he drops a kiss to her knuckles and keeps his lips pressed there while Steve joined him on the floor. Toni stares at her lap, anguish twisting at her beautiful face, and Steve feels a little guilty for the relief that floods him because at least her face was no longer blank; no longer neutral as if she had nothing left in her.

He slowly takes off his gloves and places a hand over her knee. Her eyes flicker to him and finally focuses on his face. “I’m sorry,” he says, “I didn’t realize it was that bad. Have you had a doctor look at it, at least?”

Toni shakes her head. “No. No doctors. I can’t trust them not to spill no matter how many NDAs we make them sign. I can’t risk the public, or God forbid, all the others who want me dead to know. Plus, it’s stable and the infection is expected. It’s easily combatable.”

“Okay.” Steve nods. “That’s fine.”

Toni snorts. “Glad to see your poker face is still shit, Steve. Don’t treat me with the kid gloves now. What else to you want to say?” 

Steve stops himself from smiling because that was such a Toni-thing to say and he hopes—prays, really to a God he’s not so sure he believes in anymore—that his Toni was still somewhere in this new woman that sat before him, forged in the fires of war that he never wished for her to see.

“I want to say that SHIELD’s going to want a full report on what happened,” he replies.

Her lips are still chapped and Toni wets them with her tongue before rolling the bottom lip into her mouth, her gaze flittering back down to her lap. She nods. “I know. But...maybe not now?”

“Of course, sweetheart.”

He squeezed the hand on her knee and she immediately reaches for it. Steve allows her to hold it and watches as she stares into his eyes and says, “You have to promise though...you’re the only one who’ll read it. Not Aunt Peggy, not Fury, and definitely not my father.”

“Toni, you know that’s impossible–”

“Steve...promise me, please.”

What else could he really say? “Okay, I promise.”

* * *

Toni hates being in a wheelchair, but her Honey Bear gave her one of his patented mother hen looks (one that rivals Steve’s) and she had no option but to sit her butt down. Rhodey wheels her towards the lowering ramps of the C-17 with Steve at his side.

She’s been cleaned up nicely, with all her nicks and cuts nicely disinfected, her shoulders wrapped in gauze, and her reactor carefully hidden by a dark camisole underneath the button-up shirt Rhodey managed to find her along with a pair of suit pants and a matching jacket.

Pepper is waiting for her beyond the edge of the plane’s ramp, standing tall beside her father who’s leaning heavily against his walking cane. Behind them, Happy and Jarvis were waiting by their respective cars.

Her heart swells with emotion and she knows her eyes are red with unshed tears. She’s done crying. Pepper wasn’t though. And neither was her dad.

Howard Stark hobbled forward to meet her as Rhodey and Steve assists her off the ramp, where she immediately pulls a face at the stretcher being wheeled her way. Steve was quick to catch on and politely waves it away.

“Are you sure you don’t need that, honey?” Howard rasps, and Toni smiles as she steps forward into his open arms, careful with her hold. He looked older and way more frailer than the last time she saw him. God, it must’ve been hell on him, the past couple of months.

“I’m sure, dad,” she assured him softly, breathing in his familiar and comforting smell and pretending she doesn’t feel the wetness against her neck. She smiles. “I’m home.”

“Yes, yes, you are.” He presses a long kiss to her cheek, then brow before pulling back. She loops her arm through his and allows him to walk her back to Pepper, the strawberry blond man waiting patiently as ever.

She gives him a smile. “You’re eyes are red,” she says upon reaching him, tilting her head back to meet his eyes because Pepper is ridiculously tall. Taller than Steve even, but lanky. “Tears for your long lost boss?”

Pepper sniffs, his own mouth quirking in a shadow of a smile. “Tears of joy. I hate job hunting.”

Toni gives into the urge to hug him because there was a time in that cave she left behind that she thought she’d never get to see her scarily competent PA ever again. He’s way too qualified to be Toni’s glorified babysitter, and if she was a decent human being, she’d have found a way to give Pepper a job he deserves. But she’s never claimed to be decent. So she kept him by her side because she’s selfish and knows that starting any type of relationship with Pepper outside of their professional one (and their surprising friendship) could only end in disaster.

That was her thoughts three months ago.

Now, she’s changed. She felt it the moment she stared at her own last name in that desert right before it exploded in her face. She felt it as they shoved her head under water time and time again. And she felt it as Yinsen’s life slipped from his eyes.

Pepper was obviously taken back by her sudden show of affection, but it took him only half a second to react, his own arms wrapping around her body fiercely. Though he’s still very gentle with his touch. Pepper’s awesome.

They don’t say anything else and Toni allows herself to be ushered towards her car, though she stopped to hug Jarvis and her father one more time before she ducked into the backseat. Happy had just slid behind the wheel and Pepper was buckling in when there’s a tap on Toni’s side of the car. 

Steve was waving at her from the other side of the tinted window. Dutifully, Toni rolls it down. “What can I do you for, Cap?”

“Just wanted to say to take care of yourself.” Steve braces an arm over the car’s roof, effectively blocking the sun with his ridiculous shoulders. “And next time, do ride with Rhodey.”

Toni huffs, amused. “Yeah, I don’t think I’ll be going anywhere too far from Rhodey’s sight. Or dad’s. Or SHIELD.”

Steve gives her a meaningful smile. “It’s really good to have you back, Toni.”

“Thank you, Steve,” she replies and he nods, pushing off the car. He waves as Toni rolls the window back up and gives him a parting nod.

“Where to, boss?” Happy immediately asks.

Pepper leans forward as he says, “Take us to the hospital, Hap–”

“No,” Toni quickly cuts in.

“No?” Pepper’s eyes bores holes into her profile.

“I want two things.” Toni holds up the amount of fingers she’d need. “One, I want an American cheese burger, and the other is a press conference.”

“A...A press conference?”

Toni nods. “A-SAP.”

Pepper shares a look with Happy, but neither of them say a word in further protest. Instead, Happy radioes Jarvis’ car and lets them know of the change in plans.

_Show time._


	4. Chapter 4

Toni’s vain, ask any of the tabloids that dedicate pages to her vanity. Too bad for them, Toni is human enough to admit to it. She likes being fit, she likes looking good, and she likes that people find her attractive because of those factors.

So, she rarely eats anything fast food. When she does, however, Burger King was her go to. And she never shares.

Which is why she smiles and tells Obie there’s none left for him as she takes out the last one and allows her uncle to shuffle her past flashing cameras and cheering SI employees.

She’s only vaguely aware of this, however, her mind too occupied to really settle on any one thing while she strides into SI’s California HQ and heads straight for the podium already set up for her in the lobby, mindlessly returning people’s ‘welcome backs’ and handshakes. Tesla bless Pepper.

Reporters from every media branch crowded around the podium, watching every one of Toni’s movements, hands ready to take notes, recorders rolling and camera’s zooming close. Toni ignores it all and lowers herself to the steps leading up to the podium while Obie started the press meeting. He trails off when he realizes Toni wasn’t standing next to him.

She waves at him, digging into her suit jacket for the other burger she stuffed in there. “Hey, would it be alright if everybody...sat down? Why don’t you just sit down?” Toni then waves at the obviously confused reporters and nods when they slowly comply. “That way you can see me and...” she opens the burger, “little less formal and...” she takes a bite, staring at a spot on the linoleum floor before leaning back against the podium. God, she’s tired.

But Pepper’s in the back sitting down as well, murmuring something back to Rhodey who was just as confused as everybody else, and Obie sitting down next to her, a solid warmth that reminded her of summers spent in the garage with Dad and Uncle Obie...and she can do this, because her family’s here. Dad’s probably in one of the private rooms watching the conference. She needs to do this because of her family. To keep them safe. To keep everyone safe. From her. From the things she’s made with her own two hands. She needs to start washing them of the blood of those innocent soldiers with her in that convoy, and all the others before them who died by her weapons.

So she turns to Obie and says softly, “It’s good to see you.”

Obie smiles and is gentle with the pat he gives her on her shoulder. “It’s good to see you.”

“I never got the chance to know mom,” she tells him, and her speech finally starts to come together in her mind, so she continues, louder this time so everyone can hear, “I never got to know my mother. I have so many questions for her. Growing up, everyone told me that she was an amazing woman, someone who set up charities for children orphaned by the war, for other women who lost their husbands, for soldiers who came back but whose souls never left the battlefield. I would like to ask her if she ever felt conflicted with what Stark International did for the weapons industry, if she ever had doubts about her husband. Or maybe she had found peace in knowing that what she did healed others...”

Toni crumples the burger wrapper in her hand, gaze flickering over the tops of the reporters heads. Rhodey stood in the back, a small encouraging smile on his lips.

She looks away as guilt so heavy tugged at her damaged heart. It could’ve easily been Rhodey who was blown up by her weapons. What have she done?

“I saw young Americans killed...by the very weapons I built to defend them and protect them. And I saw that I...” she takes a breath, “had become part of a system the is comfortable with zero accountability.”

There was a pause then a quiet chorus of ‘Miss Stark’ goes around while one guy raises his own. Toni recognizes him and points. “Hey, Ben.”

The young man didn’t waste his opportunity to ask the hard questions. “What happened over there?”

It’s a solid inquiry. Toni needs to stand up. “Uh, I- I had my eyes opened!” She walks around to finally stand behind the podium. “I came to realize that I had more to offer this world than just...making things blow up. And that is why, effective immediately, I am shutting down the weapons manufacture division–” all hell breaks loose as the reporters stand up in unison and Obie comes around to try and do some damage control, but Toni keeps going, “–of Stark International, until such a time that I can decide what the future of this company will be, what direction it should take, one that I’m comfortable with and is consistent with the highest good for this country as well.”

She’s vaguely aware that Obie has nudged her away from the podium, but she didn’t fight it. She walked right on through the crowd and towards the door that lead towards the fire exit, Obie’s voice following after her as he tried to placate the press.

Toni really doesn’t care.

It doesn’t take Happy long to bring the car around to her and when he gets out to open the door, she knew something was wrong. His face is stricken as he says, “Boss...your dad just had a heart attack.”

* * *

Steve stares at the tablet in his hands, haunched over the device where he sat in the back of the Quinjet Fury had sent to pick him up from California. It’s been two hours at most since Steve saw Toni off into the care of her friends and family. He should’ve known she would’ve pulled something like this. He only wished it hadn’t come with such a dangerous repercussion.

On the tablet, he watches a news reel of Howard Stark being wheeled in a stretcher from the SI building and into an ambulance. Toni was nowhere to be seen, though Rhodes and Edwin was among the crowd, helping the security guards clear a path for the medical team.

The footage ends then replays again as a news anchor comes on to comment on the situation though Steve was hardly listening.

Seventeen years ago, Steve had stormed into the Stark mansion and had a screaming match with Howard about his weapons because Steve just got back from a mission that went FUBAR involving Stark weapons that wasn’t theirs. The argument spiraled out of control after that and with a warning to Howard (“One day this’ll blow up in your face, Stark, if you don’t do something!”), Steve stomped out of the other man’s office and almost barreled right through Toni. She had been nineteen then and already shadowing Howard as she prepared to take over Stark International. It rubbed Steve in the wrong way possible in that moment. The little girl he watched grow up was soon going to start leading a weapons company and he hated it.

She had followed him after he steadied her, her steps hurried as she tried to keep up with Steve’s infuriated march, talking a mile a minute, and though Steve wasn’t listening, he could tell she was trying to get him to calm down. But nothing anyone could’ve said then would’ve calmed him down, so he kept on marching until he bursted through the front double doors and quickly got on his bike.

He was about to start the engine when he came to an abrupt halt because, finally, something Toni said filtered through the angry haze in his mind.

“Steve.”

If it wasn’t for the serum, he wouldn’t have heard her. Wouldn’t have heard the vulnerable tremor in her voice, and wouldn’t have turned around to see her standing on top of the steps leading up to the doors, her wild curls drifting in cool night’s air as it drifted around them. She was dressed in nothing but an oversized MIT shirt that hung just above her knees, her feet was bare, and her lithe arms were wrapped around her shivering body. If that already didn’t make a pitiful picture, her eyes would’ve taken the cake. They were wide, scared and hurt and Steve found the fight leaving him in an instant.

He would’ve been the biggest fool in the world if he never noticed Toni’s crush on him, especially since Peggy and Howard loved to tease him about it. It was supposed to go away, which was why Steve never let it bother him. She was twelve for chrissake! She was supposed to go on to find other boys her age to have a crush on, then turn fourteen and realize boys are disgusting, then turn eighteen and find herself a decent boyfriend that Steve would watch like a hawk, before finally getting married at twenty-one and rule the world.

Instead, he pretended not to notice how Toni would always stick to him like a magnet whenever he was around and kept on pretending that he wasn’t enabling her crush by caving every time she turned her doe eyes on him.

He could never deny Toni anything.

But then, in that moment, straddling his bike as he looked up to where Toni watched him with tears in her eyes, the autumn sky dark above them, Steve knew this was one thing he needed to deny her.

So he swung his leg off his bike, closed the short distance between them and shucked off his jacket to wrap it around her trembling shoulders. He never intended to hurt Toni, the thought never even crossed his mind. But he needed to leave.

The kiss he gave her on the forehead was nothing new. It’s a thing he’s done since her eleventh birthday. But this one was no doubt the most heartbreaking one they’ve shared.

“Take care of yourself, okay?” he murmured against her skin before he took a deep breath and went back to his bike, this time not sparing another look behind him, using all of his self control when Toni’s wreaked sobs trailed into the night and was drowned by his bike’s engine.

It wasn’t until two years later that he saw her again.

December 16, 1991.

She and Howard were heading somewhere for Christmas when they were attacked by the elusive Winter Soldier. It was dumb luck that Steve found out what Howard was carrying with him and drove after the man, catching up just in time to see a masked man reaching into the driver’s seat of the mangled car.

Steve fought him, hand to hand and found himself almost overpowered a few times. Then the mask fell off and Steve’s world shifted yet again.

God, it’s been a long two decades.

And now, Toni has done the impossible.

His phone rings. It’s Fury. “Captain, I’m gonna need you to stay in California, after all.” Steve can feel the Quinjet turning around. “Carter’s orders. She said she’d come over as soon as possible to debrief you.”

Steve isn’t sure how he feels about that. But he nods because it’s Peggy whose calling the shots. “Alright.”

And just like that, Steve’s already on his next mission. He types in a number in his phone and waits for the other person to answer.

“Hey, what’s up, punk?”

“Hey, Buck. So I won’t be back anytime soon.”

* * *

Toni rubs at her watering eyes.

The hologram of the new reactor blueprints floated in front of her in doubles and Toni knows it wasn’t supposed to do that.

“Miss, might I suggest sleeping?” JARVIS, her AI modeled after the butler himself, chimes in softly. “And maybe consuming something other than coffee?”

Toni tries to reply but her mouth doesn’t cooperate so what comes out sounded something like, “bluragh,” so she rubs her whole face and attempts again, “Never mind that, J. Let’s start with fabricating the new reactor. And before you say anything, I’ll nap while fabrication is in process.”

There was a short pause before JARVIS replies, “Very well, miss. And food?”

“There’s still some Saltines down here, right?” 

“Yes.”

“I’ll munch on those.”

JARVIS doesn’t say anything else and instead starts the fabrication process just as she had asked. Toni smiles before she pushes herself up from her work bench, reaching for her mug of cold coffee before heading over to the kitchenette in the corner of her workshop to fetch the Saltines.

She drinks the rest of her coffee (gross but whatever) and munches dutifully on the crackers as her mind wanders to the past day.

Her dad had been taken to a hospital where he remains stabilized but unconscious. Toni snuck in during the early hours of the morning, bribing the front desk and spent a good two hours just staring at her father as she held his hand. She hadn’t been able to follow him right away to the hospital due to all the reporters and had instead hidden away in the reactor room, staring up at the behemoth that now say in the middle of her chest.

That was how Obie found her and that was how Toni showed him how she intends to guide Stark International from then on. The reactor works and that had just opened so many doors for her and the company. Green energy was the way to go.

Obie was understandably less enthusiastic as her. He was the one dealing with the board after all, and simply saying, “Green energy,” wouldn’t smooth out all the ruffled feathers. So she promised to lay low and leave the board to him. Which worked out great in Toni’s favor.

“Miss?”

Toni blinks and realizes she’s been slowly munching on the same cracker for a whole minute now. She shoves the rest into her mouth before pushing off the counter while dusting her hands off from any crumbs. “Yeah, sleep. Gotcha. Wake me up as soon as you’re done with down here.”

“Certainly, Miss.”

Toni stumbles across a worn tennis ball just before she reaches the door and lobs it across the room for DUM-E to chase. The bot gives a delighted trill as he wheels after the ball. Toni chuckles and finally makes her exit, regretting her decision to take the stairs almost immediately.

She was just about to head up to her room when JARVIS says, “Miss, Captain Rogers as at the door.”

Toni stops dead in her tracks and frowns. “What?”


	5. Chapter 5

Steve Rogers stood outside her front door, hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans, and looking for all the world like a H&M model with a blue shirt two sizes too small stretched dangerously across his broad chest, a leather jacket tucked in the crook of one arm and a pair of aviator glasses pushed carelessly into his blond head of hair.

Toni blinks up at him, blinks at the rental motorbike behind him (Toni knows it’s a rental because it’s freaking sports bike), then down to herself. A black tank top, pajama pants that used to be red but now faded sporting grease and coffee stains, and bare feet greeted her.

She looks back up to Steve and find the man watching her with a raised brow. 

“The hell are you doing here?”

The brow only raised higher. “You kiss Peggy with that mouth?”

“Oh, please,” Toni says, scoffing as she steps aside to let him in, “let’s not pretend Peg’s doesn’t have a colorful vocabulary that makes you and I look like saints in comparison. And you haven’t answered my question.”

“Turns out you’re my new mission,” he says, taking in the open floor plan of her Malibu home. He nods. “Nice place.”

Toni frowns at him. “Mission? What?”

Steve gives her a look in return as she goes into the kitchen. “You really think you’re not going to get a full security detail from SHIELD? The not-so secret organization your father helped make and currently ran by your aunt?”

Toni waves him off, grabbing two bottles of water from the fridge. “Semantics. I don’t need security.”

“Hey, I’m just the messenger. Pegs is on her way.” Steve shrugs and accepts one bottle when she held it out to him.

Toni almost does a spit-take. She, instead, chokes and graciously hacks up a lung as Steve pounds on her back. She wipes at her chin and looks up to the blond. “Peggy’s coming?”

Steve gives her another look.

“Right. Of course she’s coming,” Toni says. “What’s her ETA?”

“Tomorrow around noon. She wants to go out for lunch.”

Toni slowly nods, suddenly weary. “Lunch. Okay...I should get everything done by then. JARVIS, how’s the fabrication–”

“There’s still approximately two hours, thirteen minutes and six seconds left, Miss,” her AI interjects. “Might I suggest taking that nap now?”

Honestly, napping’s suddenly the last thing on Toni’s mind right now, because her godmother’s coming, she needs to replace her old reactor ASAP, fix the damage she’s done by shutting down the weapon’s division–

“Hey Toni,” Steve says, suddenly standing right in front of her. It takes her a second to realize he has a hand on her shoulder and another second to comprehend that he was steadying her because she was suddenly swaying on her feet. Great. “You okay?”

Toni wants to laugh, so she does, but it probably came out as an ugly huff if she’s to go by the concerned furrow of Steve’s brow. Right. She needs a nap. She shakes her head. “Yeah. Maybe just a little tired.”

He looks up to the ceiling and asks, “JARVIS, how long has Toni been up for now?”

Toni doesn’t whine when her AI answers, she doesn’t, but she scowls.

“Miss Stark has been up for approximately thirty-nine hours, Captain.”

“Right,” Steve says before he turns her around by her shoulders and starts nudging her towards the stairs. “To bed with you, Stark.”

“No need to tuck me in, Rogers, I’m a grown ass a–” She yawns. “Adult.”

“Of course you are,” he says in the way that borders on placating and judging. “You’re Toni-fucking-Stark.”

Toni yawns again and only allowed Steve to lead her under the covers of her bed because she’s too lazy to tell him off. “Damn right,” she says as he pulls the blanket up to her chin. Her eyes begin to droop. “And don’t you forget it.”

She hears a huff somewhere above her, though she can’t be bothered to check. Closing her eyes felt too damn good.

“Sleep tight, Toni.”

Toni tried to say something, but her mouth doesn’t cooperate as she drifts off.

* * *

“How is my girl doing, Steve?”

Steve pauses at the last step of the stairs and looks back up to the second floor of Toni’s Malibu home before answering Peggy, “She seems more distraught over Howard than the fact that she was held in an Afghanistan cave for three months. I don’t know if that makes me feel relieved or more worried.”

“Worried, definitely worried.” Peggy sighs on her end and Steve can see her rubbing at her temples in his mind. “I managed to get a group together to search the site of where Toni was held so I expect some news from them anytime now. I’ll send their report to you as soon as it arrives.”

Steve nods. “Sounds good to me. Don’t work too hard, Peggy, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I’ll take a vacation once we’ve finish cleaning up Hydra’s mess,” Peggy says with a laugh before ending their call.

Steve huffs a fond chuckle as he shakes his head then looks around the open living area. “JARVIS, does Toni still like spaghetti and meatballs?”

“Indeed she does, Captain. If you could give me the recipe I shall check for the ingredients.”

Steve smiles and makes his way back into the kitchen, rattling off what he thinks he’ll need. “It’s a simple enough dish that I’d be surprised if you’re missing something.”

“It would appear we do have everything, Captain. Would you like my continued assistance?”

“Yes, please,” Steve says with a grin and allows himself to be steered around the kitchen as the AI tells him where everything is.

Over the last three months of Toni’s disappearance, Steve had gotten to know JARVIS over Stark Pads that Pepper Potts made sure they always had as they searched the desert for the inventor. For a moment, his worry for Toni was overshadowed by his pride for her. He was there when she was still theorizing about AIs, filling the notebook he brought back from Paris as a souvenir for her with lines of code, formulas, and other notes that Steve knew many would love to get their hands on.

Steve will always be amazed by the things Toni creates.

By the time Steve finished cooking, three hours have passed and Toni was still asleep, so he scooped some of the pasta and meatballs into a plate and placed it in the microwave with instructions to JARVIS to let Toni know when she wakes up if he’s still out.

In his haste to get to Toni ASAP, he had forgone shopping for clothes for his extended stay so with that added as a P.S. to his note for Toni, Steve rides off to the nearest Goodwill. Which turns out is pretty far away but Steve would rather spend more money on gas than he would on clothes. Just one of the things he never got over in the twenty-first century.

He comes back to Toni’s home a few hours later and is surprised to find Virgil “Pepper” Potts sitting in the living room tapping away at a tablet as some loud mouthed man rages on the TV about Stark Industries no longer making weapons.

“Captain,” Potts says as soon as the other man notices him.

Steve shakes his hand. “Potts. Is there a problem at SI?”

Potts grimaced. “Not any more than what we’re already dealing with, thank god. It was getting too much really, so I decided I’d get more work done here.”

Steve gives a sympathetic nod. “I understand. Is Toni awake yet?”

Potts opens his mouth to reply when another tablet that was propped on the coffee table chirps and a picture of Toni looking all professional pops up on the screen. Potts quickly swipes at its screen and Toni’s voice filters through, “Pepper, how small are your hands? Never mind, that was a stupid question. I need you down here.”

Potts blinks rapidly at the tablet with a bewildered look. “What?”

“Hurry. I actually might die if you don’t.”

That prompted Potts into action and Steve was hot on his heels. Toni didn’t sound like she was dying, but if Steve learned anything from being around Toni as she grew up, that was hardly a tell.

Steve has seen and been around Toni’s workshop back in New York over the years and to see her workshop now is no less awe inspiring. It’s all sleek angles and organized chaos of an engineer. In the middle of it all, Toni sat on an inclined chair, wearing shirt with a cut so low it showed off the reactor in her chest and the wires taped just below her collarbones hooked up to a heart monitor. Potts typed in a code on a holographic screen next to the door.

“Oh hey, Steve!” Toni gives him a little wave and only then did Steve notice that she was holding what appeared to be another arc reactor.

Over her, holding a small light, Steve recognizes DUM-E.

“Oh my god,” Potts gasps, “is that the thing keeping you alive?”

Toni looks down to her chest. “Was. It’s an antique now and I need your help to instal this new one. This is what will be keeping me alive for the foreseeable future. Just ran into a little speed bump.”

“Wha-What speed bump?” Potts asks. “What does that mean?”

“It’s nothing, just a little snag,” Toni waves him off then reached for the reactor in her chest and twists. “There’s an exposed wire-” she grunts as she slowly pulls the reactor up, “-and it’s contacting the socket wall, causing a bit of...shortage.”

Steve doesn’t jump like Potts when Toni gives the reactor one sharp tug that disconnects the wires from her body, but it’s a near thing.

Then Toni hands the reactor to Potts who promptly panics. “Wai- What- What do you want me to do?”

“Put that on the table over there,” Toni gestures to a metal tray full of tools and gears, “that is irrelevant.”

“Oh my god,” Potts says to himself, looking a bit green around the gills.

“Now I just need you to reach in and lift the wire out,” Toni says breathing deeply as relaxes back into the chair. “Your fingers are about as slim as I need them to be and if my hands were longer I’d do this myself but alas, here we are, so go for it.”

Potts gapes at Toni. “Are- Is this safe?”

Steve frowns at the brunette. “Toni shouldn’t we have a professional do this?”

Potts nods. “What the Captain said.”

Toni waves them both off. “Don’t worry this is perfectly safe. Last time I did this was in a less sanitary environment with trigger happy terrorists watching, so I say this is a huge step up. Come on, Pep. Cap, you can hold my hand if it’ll make you feel better.”

“It won’t,” Steve says even as he takes Toni’s empty hand.

Potts gives him a bewildered look.

Steve shrugs. “You really wanna try and change her mind?”

Potts sighs and Toni smiles triumphantly before saying, “You’ll be perfectly fine. It’s just like Operation. Just don’t let it touch the socket wall or it goes beep.”

“This isn’t a game, Toni,” Potts protests even as he reaches into said socket, long fingers disappearing into the opening quickly followed by the sound of thick liquid moving about. Potts almost gags. “Oh god, there’s puss.”

Steve doesn’t mention the fact that Toni’s grip tightens around his hand and lets Toni ramble, “It’s not puss it’s an inorganic plastic discharge. It’s from the device not from my body- gently lift the copper wire, okay? Okay. You are probably way over qualified for this, so...copper wire.”

“Copper wire,” Potts repeats on a breath. “Ugh, that smells, Toni.”

“Yeah it does. Copper wire, you got it?”

“Okay, I got it- I got it.”

Steve gives Toni’s hand a comforting squeeze.

“Good, now don’t let touch the si-AH!-” A sharp buzz comes from the heart monitor and Toni’s body jerks as Potts panics and Steve feels his shoulders go stiff. But then everything returns to normal with Potts apologizing profusely as Toni says, “Sides, that’s what I was trying to tell you earlier.”

“I’m so sorry,” Potts apologizes again as he lifts a length of copper wire up, hand dripping from said inorganic discharge of the device (whatever that means) and continues to pull and tug just as Toni says, “-and make sure you don’t pull out the magnet at- at the end of it!”

Potts had pulled the magnet out.

Steve feels like an outsider as he watches Potts panic even more, and Toni calmly guiding her assistant with what to do next-

(“Don’t put it back in-”

“-just going into cardiac arrest ‘cuz you _yanked it out like a trout_.”

“Just hurry up and clip this in.”)

-and makes sure he doesn’t squeeze Toni’s hand too hard, body coiled like a spring and ready to jump into action as the heart monitor beeps faster and faster, then, a sigh of relief as Potts successfully connects the new reactor and Toni goes lax in the chair.

Steve clenched his jaw as he closes his eyes and releases several deep breaths to calm his racing heart, not paying attention to Toni’s laughter as she teases Potts and only zoned back into the conversation when Toni’s voice goes soft. It was the same tone she’d use when she first built DUM-E, encouraging the bot that he could do it, that he’s getting it, that she loves him– _oh._

“I don’t really trust a lot of people right now, Pep. So when it comes down to it, you’re the one I’m gonna go to...and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Despite the gelatinous liquid dripping from his quivering hands, Potts was looking down at Toni with such tenderness Steve felt like a Peeping Tom from witnessing such a moment.

But then Toni’s squeezing his hand one more time before releasing her hold and starts to pull the wires off of her chest. “Anyway.”

Steve steps back as Toni hops off the chair and Potts wipes his hands on a towel. 

Steve picks up the old reactor, turning to Toni. “What are you gonna do with this?” he asks, turning the device around in his hand, the artist in him appreciating the design.

Toni fixes her shirt and gives the reactor a glance. “Destroy it. Incinerate it.” She taps on the new reactor in her chest.

“You don’t want to keep it?” Steve frowns and hands over the device to Potts when he held out his hand.

“Steve,” Toni smiles, “I’ve been called many things. Nostalgic is not one of them.”

Steve opens his mouth to call her out, because that’s bullshit, but then Potts spoke first, “Will that be all, Miss Stark?”

Toni nods. “That’ll be all, Mister Potts.”

Potts nods back and turns on his heel to leave the workshop. The wistful look on Toni’s face as she watches the strawberry blond go wasn’t lost on Steve. Then Toni catches him looking. “What?” she asks, all faux innocence.

Steve hums and doesn’t stop himself from giving in to the urge to pull her into his arms. Toni makes a surprised sound but she doesn’t protest. Instead, she’s wrapping her arms around Steve’s waist and allows him to bury his face in her unruly hair. He says nothing, but he doesn’t need to. Toni, despite the years they’ve been estranged, understands him anyway.

“I missed you too, big guy,” she murmurs into his neck.


	6. Chapter 6

Peggy Carter is a busy woman.

Especially these days, what with taking care of the Hydra/SHIELD mess. How she had allowed it to fester and grow without ever realizing it will be a burden she will always carry. But she’ll be damned if she didn’t take care of it before the good Lord takes her home. 

She’s not young anymore and she could hear her Daniel gently admonishing her for spending yet another night in her office.

Peggy gives her late husband’s picture on her desk an apologetic smile. “You’ll forgive me for this, won’t you love? I know you’d understand. Just keep watch over me.”

A knock echoes in her silent office and Peggy checks the time. Fury, then. She had asked JACOSTA (Toni’s gift to SHIELD after they discovered Hydra) to alert Fury that she wanted to speak with him as soon as he arrived. She had gone ahead of him yesterday to their California base to get a head start on things.

“Come in.”

The man steps into her office in a flutter of black leather and a straight back. Peggy has long since made the man stop saluting her, but seeing him physically stop himself from doing so despite all these years, still amused her.

“You summoned me, ma’am?”

“Yes,” Peggy nods. “I’m going to see Toni later for lunch so I want you to keep an eye on something.”

Fury raises a brow, one side of his mouth quirking up. “And by 'keep an eye' you mean, oversee? Another pet project?”

Peggy chuckles. “Not quite. I’m looking into this Ten Rings people, using what agents we have left that I trust. I know Steve said the place was a fiery mess when they checked it out, but with groups like this one it takes more than one attack to take them out completely.”

Fury nods and she hands him a USB stick. 

“Everything we have so far. Keep me updated, Nick.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

And that was that. She only had one more call to make. She picks up the landline on her desk. The phone rings two times before it’s answered. “How are you today, Bucky?”

* * *

“The future of air combat. Is it manned, or unmanned? I'll tell you, in my experience, no unmanned aerial vehicle will ever trump a pilot's instinct, his insight, that ability to look into a situation beyond the obvious and discern its outcome, or a pilot's judgment.”

Toni smiles to herself as she watches her best friend from a good distance. He’s clearly got the full attention of the group of pilots. But it’s her time to shine now.

“Colonel,” she interrupts just as he’s about to continue, approaching the group. “Why not a pilot without a plane?”

Rhodey huffs in amusement and sweeps an arm in her direction. "Look who fell out of the sky, Miss Toni Stark."

Toni smiles, shaking hands with a couple of the guys in front before saying, "Speaking about manned or unmanned, you gotta get him to tell you about when he guessed wrong in spring break. Just remember that, spring break-" out of the corner of her eye he could see Rhodey shaking his head with a rueful smile, "-nineteen eighty-seven. That lovely lady you woke up to-"

The group starts to chuckle and Rhodey continues to try and do damage control. "Don't do that, don't do that."

"-what was his name?"

The chuckles get louder. "Was it Ivan?"

"Don't do that, they'll believe that-"

"Okay," Toni shrugs.

"Don't do that." Rhodey turns back to his men, chuckling as well despite himself. "Give us a couple minutes, you guys."

The group dispersed and Rhodey taps her arm with another chuckle. Toni tries to smile. "I'm surprised," he says, taking her in with a quick sweep of his gaze from her head to her toes. "'Swear I didn't expect to see you walking around so soon."

Toni nods a bit gathering her thought, "Well, doin' a little better than walkin'."

"Really?" Rhodey crosses his arms, gaze just a little suspicious.

"Yeah." Toni paused, letting herself look at the man that she has considered family for a long time. The man who didn't stop looking for her when everyone else lost hope. Her brother. She couldn't think of a better person to share this project with than him. "Rhodey, I'm working on something big. I came to talk to ya. I want you to be a part of it."

Rhodey is smiling, nodding along like she knew he would because this is Rhodey, of course, he would get it. "We about to make a whole lot of people around here real happy-"

What? No, that's not- that's not.

"-'Cuz that little stunt, at the press conference? That was a doozy."

Shit. "This..." Toni averts her gaze because this is not how she saw this conversation going, "is not for the military. I'm not...doin'..."

She trails off because Rhodey's shaking his head, a disbelieving smile twisting his face. "What," he asks, "you humanitarian now, or something?"

"I need you to listen to me," Toni says, the familiar rush of frustration making her jaw tight.

"No, what you need," Rhodey says, enunciating her words like he was talking to a five-year-old, and it stings, "is time to get your mind right."

Toni can't believe this. He's serious. "What, 'cuz I'm a woman?"

"Hell no," Rhodey shakes his head sharply. "This has nothing to do with you being a woman and everything to do with the fact that you've been held captive by a terrorist group in a cave for three months. You forget that I was there in the room with you, Toni. Okay?"

Toni itches for a pair of sunglasses. Instead, she forces a smile on her face.

"I'm serious."

She nods with false humor and quietly says, "Okay." But the smile drops because it's Rhodey...she'll never be able to hide from him. Not fully. And he can tell. He can always tell. 

So he nods, backing away, giving her space he knows she needs. "It was nice seeing you, Toni."

"Thanks," she replies under her breath, refusing to watch as he leaves her standing in the middle of the hanger, an empty pit forming in her stomach.

* * *

Steve looks up from typing a reply to Peggy about lunch as he caught sight of Toni. He pushed off the side of the car from where he'd been leaning against it, and asks, "How'd it go?"

Toni doesn't answer, slipping behind the wheel instead and Steve scrambled back into the passenger's seat as she starts up the engine. She had slipped a pair of aviators on and mutters, "Just peachy, Cap," before peeling out of the Air Force parking lot like the hounds of hell were nipping at the tires of her sports car.

Steve simply quirks a disbelieving brow at her and pulled up Rhode's contact in his phone, fully intent of asking the other man for answers Toni is obviously not going to give. "Su-ure, Toni."

Chair Force  
  
Okay. I'll keep you updated.  
  
**Today** 11:36 AM  
Hey, what happened with Toni?  
  
Something's going on, Steve. Just keep an eye on her.  
Said she's building something, but not military.  


Steve casts a quick look at Toni, taking note of the tight grip she has on the wheel and the grinding action she had going on with her jaw. He looks back to his phone. 

Chair Force  
  
Okay  
But you better make up with Toni soon. She always gets cranky when you fight.  
  
Sure thing mom.  


"Stop gossiping with Rhodey, Steve, it's very unbecoming," Toni says after he pockets his phone.

"Unbecoming?" Steve repeats, an amused smile making his mouth twitch. "Really?"

She sniffs. "I said what I said. And don't believe anything my sour patch has to say. He's still mad at me so anything he says is null, capiche?"

Steve shakes his head, unable to stop himself from smiling, and relaxes back in his seat. The car may be a little cramped for him, but the seats were comfortable. "Whatever you say, Toni."

They don't say anything else after that so Steve fiddles around with the radio for a bit until he finds the sports station. By the time they arrive at the restaurant Peggy chose for them, the team Steve had decided to root for was ahead of their opponent by a mile. He gets out first, then walks around to open the driver's door for Toni, taking in the Italian bistro. It seemed so at odds with the hustle and bustle of Malibu but it also worked. Toni takes his proffered hand as she slides out from behind the wheel, thanking him quietly, before passing off the car keys to a waiting valet. Bistro the place may be, it was still Malibu, so of course, there'd be a valet. The hostess behind the podium recognized them right away, or at least, Toni, as she quickly comes forward to greet them and offered to lead them to their "usual table."

The "usual table" was out back in a small garden, cordoned off by a tall hedge of creeping vines that kept the outside world away while allowing the sun to shine down upon them. Peggy was sitting under a beige umbrella, daintily sipping at a glass of something as she reads a book. She looks up upon their approach and smiles, closing her book before she stands and holds out her arms. Toni slips her glasses up into her hair and Steve drops his hand from the small of her back as she steps into Peggy's embrace. He turns to the hostess while they hugged and asks for two glasses of ice-cold water and a bowl of any fruit appetizers they had. Your choice, he told her with a wink before turning back to the other two women. He helps Peggy back into her seat first, with Toni keeping hold of her aunt's hand before he turns to Toni and pulls out her chair.

Once they were all situated in a triangle around the table, a server comes up and sets the glasses of water Steve ordered on the table, one for Toni and the other for him, followed by an assorted fruit bowl, three small plates, and three small forks. They thank him and the man gives a small bow before saying he will bring them the menus.

"How are you, dearest?" Peggy asks as soon as the server was out of earshot.

Steve takes a sip of his drink and works of dividing the fruit bowl into the plates as Tony says, "Better now. Though, I don't think I've used so much aloe vera gel before. This is definitely worse than that one trip to the beach we did in eighty-six."

Peggy chuckles and Steve smiles at the memory. Yeah, Toni looked like she was doing her best impression of a lobster at the day ended and she was miserable the whole way home. It was good memory. He hands over the first plate to Peggy.

“Have you visited dad yet?” Toni asks before picking up her glass to take a drink of water.

Peggy nods. “I have, and whatever the media or your own head is telling you, it wasn’t your fault, Toni.”

Steve sees her lower her head at Peggy’s words out of his peripheral.

“Right. He just so happened to have a heart attack after I announced that I’m shutting down the biggest money making part of our company.”

Gently, Peggy nudges Toni’s chin up to meet her eyes and the younger woman complied reluctantly. Peggy says, “It’s not your fault, Toni. Your dad and I? We’re old, love, these things happen to us, okay? He’ll get better and when he does, I’ll help you convince him that closing down the weapon’s division was a good move, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Toni huffs around a tired smile. “Okay, Aunt Pegs.”

Peggy smiles back. “Good. Now then, it’s been a while since we got together, let me catch you up on a few things that’s happened at SHIELD lately.”

Steve smiles to himself as Peggy regales Toni with stories of the few new recruits they still trust after the fall of Hydra/SHIELD and the shenanigans they continuously found themselves in. For the rest of lunch, Steve enjoys himself, basking in the sun and the presence of the two women with him. The great food was just a bonus.

They see Peggy off at the front where a SHIELD car was already waiting. She hugs them both and dots their cheeks with a kiss, leaving behind a faded red imprint from her lipstick. When the nondescript car pulls away, Toni says, “She’s up to something.”

“Isn’t she always?” Steve shrugs, keeping an eye on the vehicle until it turns away from his sight. When he turned back to Toni, he finds her already staring at him. “What?”

“I didn’t know you finally caught Bucky,” she says quietly.

“Ah.” Steve recalls the surprised look she throws his way when Peggy has casually mentioned calling in to check on their friend. “Yeah. Sorry, it slipped my mind. We got the news that you were taken right after we found him.”

She hums before flicking her glasses back down, just as the valet drives their ride up to them. “I’m glad.”

He doesn’t really get a chance to reply as she was already walking around to the drivers side and thanks the valet for his services. Steve let’s himself back into the passenger’s side and they were once again speeding back down the road and towards Toni’s home.

* * *

Toni can’t sleep.

When they got hack home earlier in the day, she had left Steve to his devices to take a nap, slathering her healing shoulders with more aloe vera before she flopped onto her unmade bed. God, her conversation with Rhodey and lunch with Aunt Peggy had her mentally exhausted.

Three hours later, she woke up, groggy and with a headache. Steve was a saint because he had coffee brewing and he handed over her favorite large mug full of glorious caffeine with only a little frown of disapproval. So they spent the rest of the afternoon in her kitchen as Toni checked some emails, glared at Rhodey’s contact on her phone, called the hospital to check up on her dad, and touched bases with Pepper over a video call, all the while Steve puttered around, tapping away at a laptop at times or putting something together to snack on that he pushed in Toni’s direction.

For dinner, they reheated some of Steve’s pasta and Toni thanked him for the food.

He had waved her gratitude away because Steve’s just as bad as receiving thanks as she is. “If you’re really thankful, eat. And if you want anything g cooked, lemme know. I’ll see if I can do it, or order it as takeout.”

Toni laughed. “Okay, Steve.”

Then he got a call from SHIELD right as they finished cleaning up the kitchen and Toni shooed him away to his temporary room. He gave her an apologetic smile and a quick forehead kiss before dashing up the stairs with his laptop, taking two steps at a time.

If Toni stood a bit stupefied after a few seconds (see: minutes) in the wake of Steve’s...peck, we’ll...no one but JARVIS knew and she made sure he deleted any footage of it happening.

Now, it’s midnight and she’s been rolling around in bed until she finally gave up.

With a huff, she leaves her bed, tugging on an old MIT sweater over the cami she wears to bed and a pair of joggers, before heading down to her lab. The lights are out in Steve’s borrowed room when she passes by it.

“JARVIS, you up?” she says into the familiar quiet of her workshop, already tapping away at her desk.

“For you, miss: always,” her AI chimes.

“I’d like to open up a new project file indexes as mark two,” she continues, mind fully back into work mode. Rhodey’s rejection still stings, but she has to do this no matter what. She pulls up the digital blue prints of Mark One and, with a guide pen, leads it over to the hologram table.

“Shall I store this in the Stark Industries’ central data base?” JARVIS queries as she moves away from her desk to stand before the table.

“Just don’t know who to trust right now,” she tells him, and that...that probably stings even more. With Hydra/SHIELD, her kidnapping, and all those Stark weapons...she’d be a fool not to be suspicious even if she doesn’t want to. Ignorance is bliss, and she’s been ignorant for too long. “‘Til further notice, why don’t we just keep it all on my private server.”

“Working on a secret project, are we, miss?”

Toni stares at the design of Mark One, the memory of donning on its’ pieces still fresh in her mind, Yinsen frantically helping her before eventually giving his life. She manipulated the hologram, tilting open the face plate, removing the bulky chest plate and chunky outer armor, tossing them into the equally holographic trash can.

“I just don’t want this winding up in the wrong hands...” she spins the stripped blue print. “Maybe in mine, it can actually do some good.”

Maybe she can actually start to fix things and do what’s right this time around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys...I learned a whole new set of codes for this chapter...please...please validate my efforts with many praises xD
> 
> Thank you, [CodenameCarrot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CodenameCarrot/pseuds/CodenameCarrot) and [La_Temperanza](https://archiveofourown.org/users/La_Temperanza/pseuds/La_Temperanza) for your iOS Text Message Tutorial! It really helped me a lot and if you guys want to check it out, [here you go!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6434845/chapters/14729722)


	7. Chapter 7

_5:00 AM_

There was a time in Steve’s life where he didn’t need an alarm clock to wake up. He’s learned to take life a little easier since then, however, so sue him if he grumbles a bit when he hits snooze on his phone after it goes off. He promptly shoves his head under one of the many pillows the guest bedroom afforded him.

“Captain,” JARVIS says, low enough that it isn’t too much for his ears, but not too low that he can ignore it. This is Steve’s own fault.

He groans.

“You gave me specific orders not to let you sleep in this morning. I will now initiate Super Soldier Wake-Up Call protocols.”

He didn’t choose that name, but he did choose to let JARVIS lift the dark out on the windows and have him play Marvin Gaye’s Trouble Man. He grumbled some more before reluctantly making a move to leave the bed.

With the efficiency instilled in him by the Army, Steve finished getting ready for his morning run in less than five minutes and he’s jogging down the steps and just about ready to head out the door when he noticed the lights spilling up from the stairs leading to Toni’s workshop.

“JARVIS, has Toni gone to bed?” he asks, frowning just a bit.

There’s a brief pause before the AI says, “No, Captain. Though, not for a lack of trying. Would you please bring her down some breakfast when you get back?”

Steve can live with that. “Alright. I’ll see if I can get her to take a break, too.”

“Much appreciated, Captain. Have a good run.”

With a wave to the closest camera, Steve leaves the mansion and heads down to the beach. He runs for the next three hours, putting the serum through the hoops as the rising sun beat down on his back, then on his front when he retraced his steps towards Toni’s home.

There’s already coffee brewing in the pot when he arrived, no doubt JARVIS’ doing with the help of the house bots. Steve quickly gets to work on breakfast as soon as he finished gulping down two bottles of Gatorade. He scrambles some eggs while the bread toasted, slathering one slice with butter and the other with blueberry jam, then when Toni’s tray was ready, he whipped up a salami sandwich to go with his mountain of scrambled eggs and brought them all down to the workshop with a huge mug of coffee and another bottle of Gatorade.

The glass door opens automatically, making Toni look up from whatever she and DUM-E were working on. Is that a boot?

Instead of questioning it though, he points towards the couch with his chin and says, “Breakfast, eat.”

Toni rolls her eyes but complies, even as she mocks, “Caveman, Steve.”

They settle on the old thing, all lumpy yet strangely comfortable and Steve’s pretty sure it’s the same one she had in her dorm at MIT. _Not nostalgic, my ass._

He hands over her tray of food, making sure she’s all settled before turning to his own to dig in. There’s silence as they eat and Steve is half-way through his eggs when he realized this. It’s silent. It was silent when he walked in, too. His gaze snaps over to the boot that DUM-E was prodding at then swallows the bite in his mouth. “What are you working on?”

“Just tinkering with an idea,” Toni says, and out of his peripheral he watched her twirl her fork in the air. There’s bags under her eyes, but there’s a spark in her gaze, a clearness that’s never present when she’s just tinkering. If the lack of music wasn’t already proof that this—whatever it is—is something big, then _that_ look certainly’s it. So, why is she not telling?

Steve hums. “Looks mighty interesting.”

For some reason, Toni finds his words amusing as her lips quirk. “I’ll show you when I get somewhere with it.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

DUM-E beeps across the room.

“No, leave it be,” Tony answers, not unlike a parent, “we’ll fix your spot as soon as I’m done, don’t touch.”

“To think,” Steve begins with a smile, eyes on the old bot, “that was once your greatest creation.”

Toni laughs. “Definitely come a long way, huh?”

“Yeah.” Steve looks to her. “Yes, you have.”

A small piece of scrambled eggs comes flying his way and it was only thanks to his reflexes that he manages to catch it in his mouth. He glared at Toni who gives him a shrug.

“You’re getting sappy,” she says, simply.

They finish the rest of their breakfast in relative silence and Toni helps him with stacking their dishes together for Steve to take back up to the kitchen. She keeps the large mug of coffee with her, though. Steve deposits the plates in the kitchen sink before dashing up the stairs to his room to grab his laptop, notebook, and tablet and heads back down to Toni’s lab as casually as he can. No need to tip Toni off to his “evil” plan to get her to at least take a power nap.

He settles back down on the MIT couch with his devices, thinking to give Toni a few more minutes with her project before he’ll intervene.

Steve reads some emails, composed a few replies, read up on Nat and Clint’s recent missions, assures Rhodey that everything is fine, before Toni’s excited _whoop_ carries over from the other side of the ‘shop. Steve tears his eyes away from his phone to look where Toni had her arms up, as if in victory, followed by JARVIS saying, “Congratulations, Miss.”

Steve decided now is the best time for that nap, so he walks over to join the genius and her bots. Toni spots him a few steps into his journey. “Oh, hey, Steve! You were here?”

“The whole time,” Steve says, amused. “What are we celebrating?”

“Science and the marvels of engineering.”

“Ah.” Steve nods. “You got a moment to spare, then?”

Toni lifts a shoulder. “Sure, what’s up?”

“Join me on the couch.” Steve leads the way and settles back in his spot, patting the empty space next to him as he brings up his laptop.

“So, what do you need my great expertise with?” Toni looks down at the screen as Steve turns it towards her, displaying a rough draft of his uniform. Expect the tones are darker, more muted and something Steve’s been mulling over for a while now. “You need fashion advice?”

Captain America doesn’t roll his eyes, so Steve settles on a bland smile. He knows how Toni feels about the spandex. It’s been upgraded, but she will never let him live it down. “Stealth suit. I want your input for some lightweight armor and the design, of course.”

Toni hums and accepts the tablet Steve hands her along with the stylus, the drawing app already open. She stared at his draft for a minute longer before she starts to sketch. Steve patiently waits for thirty minutes as she flicks the stylus over the screen, long strokes, then shorter ones, before settling the folded blanket that he found by the foot of the couch earlier around her shoulders. JARVIS helpfully turns down the temperature and kicks the AC into gear. Toni’s eyes are at half-mast not long after, and Steve is confident enough that she’ll fall asleep within the next couple of minutes that he goes back to his own work.

Eight minutes and twenty-one seconds later, Toni slumps against his shoulder, snoring quietly where her cheek is mushed against his bicep. The tablet is on her lap and the stylus hangs limply from her fingers. Steve is careful to extract the devices from Toni’s person.

He waits for another twenty minutes before finally moving the genius to lay down across the couch. After tucking the blankets firmly around her, Steve packs up his things and leaves Toni to her z’s.

“Let me know when she wakes up,” Steve says to JARVIS as the workshop door close behind him.

“As you wish, Captain. And thank you.”

Steve waves a hand towards the nearest camera and takes the stairs two at a time as he makes his way back up stairs and to his bedroom. He drops his stuff off on the bed before pulling off his shirt, making his way to the bathroom and leaving a trail of clothes in his wake.

He showers quickly and efficiently, despite the luxury of the bathroom telling him to relax and slow down. It’s an unfortunate habit from his Army days that Steve has yet make an effort to kick. Just as he steps out of the steaming shower stall and wraps a towel around his hips, JARVIS speaks up, “Captain, Master Stark’s is calling your phone.”

Steve snags another towel up to dry his hair with and speeds out of the room to grab said phone. He only questions why Howard is calling him (and the fact that he’s awake apparently) for a split-second before he’s answering, “Howard?”

“Steve.” Howard’s voice is raspy and tired, slow with each syllable. “I need you to come to the hospital.”

“Want me to bring Toni?”

“No. No, I need to talk to you about this.”

Steve frowns. Suspicion and confusion waged a short war before he decided not to voice any of his thoughts and nods instead. “Okay. I’ll be over in a bit.”

He quickly got dressed and definitely broke several speeding laws on the ride over to the Malibu hospital Howard’s been checked in to. He finds a free spot in the visitor’s parking lot and jogs his way over to the lobby. Edwin Jarvis is waiting for him there.

“Mr. Rogers,” the man greets before ushering him down the hall towards the elevators.

“What’s going on, Edwin?” Steve asks as they rode up to the third floor. “When did Howard wake up?”

“Last night,” Edwin says, a worried frown twisting at his weathered face. “I asked if he wanted me to let Miss Toni know, but he refused. Asked for his phone and tablet instead. He’s been working non-stop.”

“And his heart?”

Edwin hesitates. “Doctors says it’s not looking too good.”

“Shit,” Steve says under his breath just as the elevators come to a stop.

Edwin motions him out first before following after him and leading the way to a private room. Steve knocks on the door before pushing it open. Surrounded by beeping machines and hooked up to most of them, Howard Stark looked nothing at all like the fierce business tycoon he’s been known to be. Instead, he looks just like any aging old man. But when Steve meets his eyes, there’s still a fire burning there—the same spark he’s seen in Toni’s gaze many times before.

“Steve, sit.” With a frail hand, Howard gestures to the empty seat beside his bed. 

Steve does just that, taking note of the tablet Howard had propped up on the overbed table.

“What’s going on?” Steve asks.

Howard hands him the tablet. “These...are the shipping manifestos over the last...thirty years of every Stark weapon that has ever been made. At first glance it looks correct. In fact, it is. However, upon a much, much closer look, well. Once I found the pattern, it was easier to find and identify.”

“You’re missing weapons?” Steve frowns at the screen, scrolling through the pages. It’s all gibberish to him, but it gives his hands something to do while Howard tells him exactly _how much_ they’re missing...and where they went.

Fucking hell, but Steve hates it when he’s right sometimes.

* * *

“Okay, let’s do this right,” Tony calls out into the workshop, metal boot clanking as she moved about, doing once last check of her surroundings. “Start mark, half a meter, and back and center.”

DUM-E chirps.

Toni points to the bot. “Dummy, look alive. You’re on standby for fire safety. You,” she swivels around to address the other bot holding a camera, “roll it.”

A nervous energy is making her twitchy and she tries to shake it off with a few shakes and deep breaths. It doesn’t completely do the trick, but it helps some. 

Mindful of the wires attached to the arc reactor, Toni carefully twists to flip a switch at the back of her hips, eliciting mechanical hum as her equipment came to life. “Okay. Activate hand controls.”

Toni wiggles a bit in the boots, idly wondering if she made them a bit too big. “We’re gonna start off nice and easy. We’re gonna see if ten percent thrust capacity achieves lift.”

She settles more firmly in her stance.

“And three...two...one.”

In the split second after she pressed the hand control buttons, Toni is airborne before her world tilts upside down, pain explodes across her knees and shoulders, and she’s back down to earth.

Despite there being no fire at all, DUM-E douses her with the fire extinguisher.

This is how Steve finds her, hours, maybe just minutes later. Toni wasn’t really paying attention as all her brain power was entirely focused on different ways she can help stabilize herself in the air.

“Planes have wings,” she says to Steve as he’s lifting her from the floor, careful so he doesn’t slip.

“What?” he asks, incredulously, looking down at her. “I leave you alone for several hours, Toni. Not even a full day. What were you doing?”

“Pulling a Wright brothers,” Toni quickly replies from the cradle of his arms. “Maybe I should replicate the wings?”

Steve manages to get away from the mess DUM-E made and briskly walks over to the couch. “JARVIS...does Toni have a concussion?”

Toni frowns at the blond. “I resent that. My back took the brunt of the fall.”

“Miss Stark is right, Captain. She’s does not have a concussion.”

“How did you even fall?” Steve sets her down by the couch and Toni’s legs are back on the ground with a loud clang. He stares pointedly at the boots then at the rest of the stuff hanging off her back. “What’s going on, Toni?”

“I’m learning to fly, Steve,” she replies, seeing no sense in lying about this specific situation. “Turns out, the arc reactor has a bit more _oomph_ than I anticipated.”

“Is that even safe?” Steve gives her an unsure look, taking the towel DUM-E hands him, which he had fetched after abandoning his fire extinguisher.

“Of course it is.” Toni wipes at her face and arms. “I wouldn’t have stuck it in my chest if it wasn’t. And anyway, where did you run off to?”

Steve looked like he still wants to say something concerning the situation, but at the last second, sighs, letting the subject drop and goes along with her change, “I went to visit your dad.”

Toni blinks, freezing in her actions. “Voluntarily?”

“He’s awake now, if you’re wondering.”

“Oh!” Toni immediately drops the towel to start unbuckling at the straps across her shoulders. “You should’ve led with that! Let’s go!”

“Woah, woah!” Steve halts her progress by stepping in front of her, hands up by his shoulders. “Visiting hours will be over by the time you get there, and when I left, Howard was sleeping. You can go tomorrow.”

“But–”

“Toni,” this time, Steve grips her gently around the arms and she steadily ignores the tingles that run up and down her body at the contact, “tomorrow, please. Your dad’s fine. He’ll be more awake and lucid tomorrow. Come on, let’s get you cleaned up and maybe hunt down something to snack on. Did you even eat lunch?”

“I had coffee.”

A patented Captain America Is Mildly Disappointed In You sigh makes Steve’s ridiculous upper body slump forward, before he’s looking back into her eyes with his equally as ridiculous bright blue eyes and says, “Alright. Come on. Get this stuff off of you then it’s straight to the bathroom. Why did DUM-E spray you, anyway?”

“Your guess is as good as mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry that these chapters are really heavy on Steve’s POV but since so think we get a good sense of what Toni’s POV is from the movies, I feel the need to write a lot of the scenes out through Steve’s eyes and how he would react to the events of IM1. I hope it’s not too boring for you guys!
> 
> Anyways, I’m back, and I’m also sorry for taking more than a month to update!!! Hopefully, I won’t take as long with the next chapter. I have big plans for that one.


	8. Chapter 8

"So, we're really not telling Steve?"

Bucky looks up from strapping on his gloves at Natasha who directs the question to the room at large. She's standing opposite the bench he sat on of the military plane Fury had found for them (apparently, the Quinjets don't take too kindly to sand in her turbines), checking her weapons.

Piloting the plane, Clint remains silent, so Bucky takes that as the archer's way of passing him the hot potato.

"Knowing the punk, he'll end up worried about me and not give his all to guarding Stark."

"He'll be pissed," Natasha says, quirking a red brow.

"Comms check!" Clint shouts back at them.

Bucky taps at his earpiece and answers through the mic tapped to his throat, "I'd rather he be pissed after the mission than worried during."

"What I don't get," Clint's voice sounds in his ear, "is why Cap gets babysitting duties while we go on a recon mission?"

"Because you don't have a history with baby Stark." Natasha's smirk comes through loud and clear even without Bucky looking at her.

Clint scoffs. "But so does Bucky, but he's not babysitting."

Bucky grimaces while Natasha snaps a sharp look to the back of Clint's dirty-blond head.

"Oops, sorry," he says.

"You're good," Bucky waves him off.

Natasha takes up the empty spot next to him, careful to keep some distance between them but settling a hand on his shoulder. It takes Bucky back to another time in their lives when they were still just two souls trying to survive and finding some form of comfort in the other. But that's not them anymore, definitely not him, and Bucky has to clench his hands to stop himself from reaching up to tangle his hand with hers instead.

"You know they don't hold that against you, right?" Natasha says quietly.

"Sure," Bucky says, aware that he doesn't sound convinced at all. Natasha manages to squeeze his shoulder through his armor and it has him relaxing just a fraction. Natasha knows, after all, what it's like to do all those things and still remember them. Bucky still remembers how it felt to grab Toni Stark by the neck and drag her out of the mangled passenger seat, her side catching on the jagged metal and she screams, her vocal cords flexing under his flesh and blood hand. He tries not to think what could have happened had Steve not chased after the Super Soldier serum Howard carried in the trunk and stumbled across the crash when he did. Just a second later, a moment's hesitation before Steve threw the shield at him, and it would've been the end of Toni Stark.

Bucky’s kind of scared at the prospect of meeting her again.

“Coming up on the LZ,” Clint’s voice crackles over the comms.

“Thank God,” Bucky can’t help but say, scooping up his mask from where he had dropped it on the bench. 

Time to get to work.

* * *

“Toni?”

With a start, Toni’s gaze snaps up from the book in her hand to the hospital bed.

Howard had his head turned in her direction, eyes blurry from sleep but his hand was reaching out, weak and shaky.

Toni's own hands shook as she gently takes her father's into both of hers, heart squeezing in pain as she feels just how frail he is. How much of her memories of Howard involve his strong, reliable hand? He never raised it against her, instead using his palm to soothe her whenever sobs wracked her body, his fingers to correct her hold on tools, and his grip to guide her to magical places. It has been a hand that she can always take a hold of and know that her father will be there for her no matter what. 

“Why are you crying, sweetheart?”

Toni sniffs, laugh watery as she says, “I’m not. Allergies from all these damn flowers in here. Why’d you have to go and get a heart attack like that, dad?”

“Not like I planned it, kid.” He pauses, gaze intent on hers. “How’d the board take to you shutting down the weapon’s division?”

“I haven’t checked. Left that all up to Obie, he’ll take care of it.”

Howard hums. “And? What’s the next step?”

Toni taps at the reactor, hard enough that Howard could hear the very non-fleshy sound. “This.”

He frowns. “What?”

“Don’t freak out, please. I had limited options on how to keep shrapnel away from my heart and this was the best solution I could come up with.” Toni hopes the explanation could somehow soften the blow of seeing the reactor. She unbuttons her blouse and slowly reveals the device to her father. “It works and hasn’t blown up on me yet.” 

Howard’s eyes widen so Toni pushes on, “I was thinking this could be where we go next. Go green like no other company in the world can even dream of. I know we can do it, especially now with more manpower to focus in the energy department. My estimate is in two years we can fully supply green energy to a tower as tall as the Empire State Building, but right now I can’t be sure because you’re not saying anything and I really need you to say something, pops.”

Howard’s face had slowly morphed into an unreadable mask during her tirade and had now settled into carefully blank though his gaze is troubled. By what, Toni can’t say for sure and she’s woman enough to admit to herself that it’s a little terrifying. She never liked it when she couldn’t tell what Howard was thinking.

Finally, he breaks the heavy silence, asking, “Who else knows?”

“What?” Toni blinks, thrown by the seemingly unrelated question.

“The reactor, who else knows?”

“Oh, uh, Rhodey, Steve, Pepper, and Obie. And now you.”

“Good.” Howard nods, relief clear in the action before he reaches for her hand again and says, “Don’t tell anyone else. Any trace that this exists in you? You get rid of it. Okay?”

Dazed by the sudden request/order, Toni can’t do much but nod, really. Not that she’ll deny it anyway because she had already done it. The Ten Rings are dead, Yinsen took the blueprints to his grave, and she hadn’t let any of the doctors see her. When she got back, she had JARVIS clear the web of any pictures that has been taken of her upon her return that may have even hinted at the reactor in her chest. 

Howard nods again. “Good, good. Now, tell me how you did it.”

Toni smiles.

* * *

Steve sits in the uncomfortable hospital chair across from the door to Howard’s room, foot tapping against the floor to the music he had playing in one ear while he stares down at the book in his hands, half of his mind absorbing the letters as the other half catalogs every little sound and scent in the hallway.

It was empty save for him now that Edwin had gone back to New York to prepare for Howard’s homecoming. If everything goes to plan, they’d have Howard out by evening and have him on a plane bound for the East Coast.

His phone chirps with a notification. _Mr. Stane has entered the building._ Steve types in a quick reply even though Toni said he doesn’t have to. (He’s a stickler for any AI Toni makes, no matter how rudimentary, sue him.) _Thank you Ghost.___

A minute later, the elevator dings to announce Stane’s arrival before the sound of expensive shoes on linoleum floors fill the silence. Steve looks up at the appropriate time to find the man coming forward with his media smile. Steve braces himself.

“Mr. Stane,” he says, standing to shake hands with him.

“Captain,” Stane nods. “How is he?”

“Still Howard.” Steve smiles wryly. He’s never been fond of Obidiah Stane, too much of a businessman for his taste, but his contributions to Stark Industries are no joke, and Howard trusts him so Steve tries not to antagonize the man...too much.

Stane chuckles, tucking his hands into his pants’ pockets. “I should’ve figured. How’s Toni been doing?”

It’s a testament to how much Steve is holding himself back from making a jab at Stane that he doesn’t hear Toni open the door to Howard’s room, saying, “Toni is doing just fine, Obie.”

“There’s our troublemaker,” Obie laughs bending down to accept Toni’s hug. “You haven’t made working easy these days.”

Toni smiles, eyes shining mischievously. “I knew you could handle it. How’d it go?”

Stane’s jovial smile slowly morphs into a grim line as he sighs. “I sent the pizza to your place. If I knew you were here I would’ve just brought it.”

Toni winces. “Ah, that bad, huh?”

“Just because I brought you pizza back from New York doesn’t mean it went bad.”

“Uh-huh,” Toni says drily, settling her hands on her cocked hips. “Sure did.”

“Would’ve went better if you were there.”

“Oh, no. You told me to lay low so I’m laying low while you take care of the–”

“In public, the press, Toni.” Stane wraps an arm around Toni’s shoulders while Steve stops the urge to scoff.

The press. Stane has always been one for keeping up appearances.

“This was a Board of Director’s meeting.”

“This was– This was a Board of Director’s meeting?” Toni repeats in disbelief, shooting her godfather a bewildered look. “Who was going to tell me?”

Stane clears his throat with an uncomfortable grimace. “The Board,” he continues softly, “is claiming a Post-Traumatic Stress, they’re filing an injunction.”

“A _what_?”

Steve narrows his gaze on the pair. He’s not a businessman like the Starks or Stane, but Steve can understand this kind of talk.

“They wanna lock you out.”

Steve couldn’t keep quiet. “Why, because Toni wants something better for the company?”

Stane flicks a look in his direction but isn’t given the opportunity to answer as Toni says, “We knew the stocks dipped forty points, we knew that was gonna happen.”

“Fifty-six and a half, actually.” 

They all turned to see Potts speed-walking towards them, looking a bit harried if Steve were to go by the other man’s rumpled clothes and wind-blown hair. “The office is in a bit of a hurricane right now,” he says as he comes to a stop around their little huddle.

“It’s doesn’t matter,” Toni insists, continuing the discussion, “we own the controlling interest in the company.”

“Toni, the Board has rights, too.” Stane gives her a pointed look. “They’re making a case that you and your new direction isn’t in the company’s best interest.”

This must’ve been the wrong thing to say because Toni’s face hardens, frustration bleeding through her words as she says, “I’m being responsible! That’s the new direction. For me– For the company.”

Silence reigns in the hallway once more with Stane watching Toni with a half-smile that wasn’t far from being incredulous.

“I mean me on the company’s behalf–” She looks to Potts and sees the frown on his face, “–being responsible for the way that– wow, this is great.”

Toni ducks out from under Stane’s arm and briskly walks past Potts in the direction of the elevator. Steve quickly follows.

Stane chases after her. “Oh, c’mon, Toni, Toni!”

“I’ll be at home if you need me!”

“Hey, hey, hey, Toni, listen.”

They’ve already reached the elevator but instead of pressing the call button, Toni turns around to face Stane. Steve presses the button.

“I’m trying to turn this thing around but you gotta give me something. Something to pitch ‘em.” And Stane says. Then he points toward Toni’s chest where Steve knows the reactor is hidden safely under her clothes. “Let me have the engineers analyze that. You know, drop some specs–”

Toni’s already shaking her head. “No.”

“–It’ll give me a bone to throw the boys in New York!”

“–No, absolutely not. This one stays with me! That’s it, Obie. Forget it.”

Just in time, the elevator doors open once more. 

“Alright then, I’m coming by for my pizza, then.”

“I’ll leave you two slices,” Toni says, stepping into the elevator with Steve. 

“Oh, well, thank you.” The doors start to close. “You gonna show me what you’ve been working on while you’ve been keeping low?”

Toni smiles fondly at the older man. “Love you, Obie.”

The elevator descends.

“Good job on keeping your cool,” she tells Steve after a moment. “I really didn’t need you guys to continue the fiasco of the one Christmas we had together.”

Steve squares his shoulders, meeting Toni’s gaze in the distorted metal surface of the elevator. “It was tempting, but I figured you could use more adult influence in your life, so...”

Toni’s mouth drops open in indignation even if her eyes told him she was proud of him for the joke. It doesn’t stop her from punching his arm though. “Jerk.”

“Squirt.”

Toni sniffs. “Whatever.”

* * *

“Hey.”

Steve hums, an affirmative that while he's paying attention to the road, he's listening to her.

"Let's not go home yet."

Steve briefly slants a questioning look her way. "Okay. Where?"

Toni turns her eyes out the window, smiling. "I'll let you know when to turn."

It's not far from her house, actually, the spot she wants to visit, and Toni can tell it throws Steve off when she tells him parks off the side of the road a mile from the mansion. But ever the soldier, he follows her wordlessly when she leads him down a well-worn, but easy to miss, path. It's a bit of a hike and not at all made easy by the afternoon Malibu sun, but Toni trudges on, letting the memories of another time she's gone down this same path wash over her. When they reach the cliff, the view still takes her breath away. 

And Steve's too if she's to go by the man's impressed whistle. The sky is vibrant, the clouds white and fluffy, and the waters crashing below them is a gradient of blue to green as far as the eye can see. Toni will hate herself later when she's scrubbing the smell of salty air out of her hair, but that's for future Toni to deal with.

"Now this is a view. Oh, hey, there's the house."

Toni smiles. Her pride and joy sticking out the side of the cliff in a big middle finger to everyone who said she couldn't do it.

"You missed the chance to build it here, huh?"

"Nope." Toni's smile widens as she feels Steve's questioning gaze on the side of her face. "I found this spot by chance when I was looking for a place to build my house. I thought about building it here as soon as I saw the view, but then I saw that cliff, and I couldn't get it out of my head. Everyone who saw it said I couldn't do it, that I wouldn't be able to make it stand for even a year before it collapses into the ocean. But I did it."

Steve's chuckle is nearly lost to the wind, but he's standing close enough to her shoulder that she was able to hear the fond edge to it. "Tell a Stark they can't do something you might as well be giving them you're blessing to do it."

"Damn right." Toni nods, mind racing to recalibrate to the new development Obie dropped on her. "So, no matter what the Board says, I'll keep doing what I _know_ is right because they didn't see what I saw out there and I won't have any more blood on my hands. This will not be the Stark legacy."

* * *

Toni places the extra cup of coffee in her hands in front of Pepper who looks up from the tablet he was perusing. Evening has arrived and, with it, Pepper who conveyed through JARVIS that he has some things for Toni to sign. He's parked himself on one of the outdoor tables by the pool and looked to be all settled in by the fact that he's taken off his jacket, popped open the top three button of his shirt, and had abandoned his shoes and socks under the table. One of these days, Toni will convince this man to take some form of modeling. Maybe for a Stark ad?

"Sorry for snapping earlier," she says, taking the free seat across from her PA.

Pepper shrugs. "Not the worst thing we've been through, Toni. But we are worried, though."

"I understand, but I need you to trust me, Pep. This is–" Toni shakes her head, looking out past the pool and at the darkening skies. "This is wildly different from anything I've ever done before and I need you, I _need_ you to trust in me to not screw this up. Please."

Pepper's hands are warm as they curl around her own where they were fiddling with her own mug of coffee. His eyes are clear and Toni feels the tension between her shoulders release. "Okay," he says quietly. "I trust you. You've never once given me an excuse to not trust you, Toni. Question my sanity, yes, but never to not trust you."

Toni smiles, breathing easier even with the weight of the reactor in her chest. "Have I ever told you I love you?"

Pepper blinks, clearly thrown but quickly recovers. "Once or twice when you got absolutely shit-faced."

Toni thought as much. "Well, I love you, completely sober and I couldn't ask for a better PA to run my life. JARVIS aside."

"Of course," Pepper chuckles, giving her hands a squeeze before pulling back. "Now, I need your signatures for these documents."

"And we were having such a moment," Toni sighs, not quite successful and in keeping the smile off her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo...i'm back??? i swear i haven't abandoned this fic, just been very lazy and busy at the same time...love you guys!


End file.
